Having a sense of a true self

Having a sense of a true self has to be paramount to our happiness in life.  How do we do this you may ask?  When we’re young, we are told how to act and therefore what to feel.  This is due to our family and the culture we grow up in.  We’re shaped into a way of being instead of going with who we truly are, feeling what we truly feel and so we adjust our feelings to resemble the norm so to speak. And as such, you learn to hide your true feelings.  In fact, you bury your true feelings.   Overtime, we inevitably build up resentments towards ourselves and others due to our adherence to our true feelings.  There are a few steps you can take if this is meant for you, and that is to self-reflect on what’s inside your heart. What is it that is going against what you feel?  What are some of the habits or beliefs that you have formed?   Write them down.  This will enable you to have a closer look at yourself.  As the experience of self-reflection unfolds, look at where your emotions are.  You may be feeling joy, anger, fear, sadness, gratitude, integrity, an awakening, surrendering, compassion and grace.  Knowing where our emotional intelligence lies is part of the solution to problem solving or the recognition that we seldom give to ourselves.  When we mask what we feel, we’re allowing patterns in our life to repeat themselves until we acknowledge them and then letting them go.  When we deny ourselves what we feel, we may be hanging onto things that are not serving us.   This is termed as having a wounded relationship with emotion, rather than being the result of emotion.   Recognising this as part of our relationship with our-selves is a way to heal our-selves.  Trust yourself to accept what you feel then let it go because being present serves your wellbeing.   When you know yourself better, you learn to develop patience and passion for yourself and then you are more able to release what no longer serves your wellbeing.  No matter what the outcome, be grateful for the experience.  It is how we grow as human beings.  (Shaman, 2020, Y. D. Khan)

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